(November 26, 2016)
Right now everything has been very difficult. I'm at a point in my life where I am in front of crossroads, trying to find the correct path. College is approaching, I am turning 18, had homecoming, prom, guy complications and graduation. I want to just let everything go and start fresh, but who is to say that it's time for that. I want to move out for college, but who can that's what I should do. Am I ready for that? Only God Knows. I am just trying to stay silent and not talk myself out. I honestly don't know what the next year is going to look like. All I know is that things have to change. It is not high school anymore. This is life. The problem for me is that I overthink a lot of things and make them a bigger deal than they are. But sometimes I need to think precisely on what my next move is. God what is my next move?
I wish I had a plan for my life, but I don't want to walk in anyone else's path but mine. God I want to grow in you and do more for you. I just don't want to stay here and do the same thing. I want to grow and if it involves moving then I accept, even as crazy as it sounds.
Do I continue my ministry at my local church or do I drop it for college?
Do I continue to be involved in my church like teach, lead worship or work as a children's director. But what do I do or where do I go?
My brain hurts from overthinking but I can't stop... What will happen in the future and who will I become?
Am I going to have to leave the people I love? I feel like that is going to have to happen and I want to do it but I don't know if I am ready.
When will I be ready or know when it is time?
You see, you are not the only one who overthinks and asks too many questions. Life can be filled with so many uncertainties and can make you question what to do. It is okay to not have it all figured no matter what stage of life you are reading this from. Tough decisions can bring fear, but if you overcome your fears you will be able to experience something so beautiful. It is okay to question things in a healthy way, but don't let that control you. Love you my daughter and I pray that even in your uncertainties you trust God to get you through it.
-Love your mom :)
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